Day 495 - Thy will be done

So in the process of writing this blog I hadn't really thought people would read it. I'm shocked to actually see the amount of people (world wide) that are reading and responding to it. Its nice to think that we all have similar experiences no matter where we are in the world, and we are all suffering through trials and tribulations on somewhat of the same plane.
Recently i had someone write me relating to one of my posts when i was having an off night listening to that Bonnie Riatt song "i can't make you love me". Similar to my experiences, this person had found shelter, or sorrow in this same song when a lover walked away. 

Its so hard in life to love someone who turns to you one day and tells you they never loved you, and than they leave. this individual mentioned how it amazed them how much "physical pain" a heart can bear. I too think its amazing how much physical pain our hearts can bear. I find it interesting our abilities to feel such pain in retro spect usually over someone who does not deserve it, its even harder to love someone when they don't love you back. the funny thing about love though, is it truly should be unconditional. I know how hard it is to watch someone you love deeply tell you they just don't love you.. even harder yet to listen to it, and take a step forward, further away from that persons with every passing day, and that love you had thought was mutual but was not.

I feel like the only thing we can learn from situation like this, is that our love, and the giving of love is truly special and not to be thrown away to people who do no deserve it. Having our hearts break only allows us to build it stronger and more capable of loving greater, deeper and broader.I truly believe we go through different forms and stages of suffering for a reason. Generally its because we are at a point in our lives , we are comfortable, stagnant, whether you believe in god or not,  i am not sure but i believe when we experience suffering its because we are settling for a life, individual, path that is not what was intended for us, and we are loosing sight of what is really important for us as an individual and what we are meant to achieve.

so i hope for this individual, as myself, since walking away from that unreciprocated love you are working towards your full potential as an individual and building your hearts up to love with fierce greatness in the future! 

I recently read a book by Paulo Coelho " The Fifth Mountain" ,Below is a insert to me that spoke volumes around this subject. He can speak to the soul far better than I can : 

" Every human being at some time had tragedy enter his life ; it might be the destruction of a city, the death of a son, an unproved accusation, a sickness that left one lame forever , (a lost love). At that moment, God challenged one to confront Him and to answer His question : "Why dost thou cling fast to an existence so short and so filled with suffering? what is the meaning of thy struggle ? "

The man who did not know how to answer this question would  resign himself, while another, one who sought a meaning to existence, feeling that God had been unjust, would challenge his own destiny. It was at this moment that fire of a different type descended from the heavens - not the fire that kills but the kind that tears down ancient walls and imparts to each human being his true possibilities. 

Cowards never allow their hearts to blaze with this fire ; all they desire is for the changed situation to quickly return to what it was before, so they can go on living their lives and thinking in their customary way. The BRAVE, however, set afire that which was old and, even at the cost of great internal suffering, abandon everything, including God (at times), and continue onward.


"The brave are always stubborn"


From heaven, God smiles contentedly, for it was this that HE desired, that each person take into his hands the responsibility for his own life. For, in the final analysis, He had given His children the greatest of all gifts; the capacity to choose and determine their acts. 

Only those men and women with the sacred flame in their hearts had the courage to confront HIM.  and they alone knew the path back to His love, for they understood the that tragedy was not punishment, but challenge. "

 To me, nothing could me more true. There is no greater injustice in life than to live an existence that does not challenge the mind, heart and spirit to grow towards something greater than ones own self. We are meant to live, not just sustain. 

I leave with you my favourite poem. I did not write it, but it clings to my heart :

INVICTUS


"Out of the night that covers me,
Black as the pit from pole to pole,
I thank whatever gods may be
For my unconquerable soul.

In the fell clutch of circumstance
I have not winced nor cried aloud.
Under the bludgeonings of chance
My head is bloody, but unbowed.

Beyond this place of wrath and tears
Looms but the Horror of the shade,
And yet the menace of the years
Finds and shall find me unafraid.

It matters not how strait the gate,
How charged with punishments the scroll,
I am the master of my fate:
I am the captain of my soul."



Until next time...Jenny